My Life as I See Fit

2003-07-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

Speak to me in riddle.
Speak to me in rhyme.
You speak like I'm a child.
You speak like you're sublime.

2003-07-03T10:13:00.000-07:00

My Dr. Pepper seriously tastes as though it has booze in it. I am not even kidding. Seriously, dude, my Dr. Pepper has been spiked.

*drinks Dr. Pepper anyway*

Get this; My parents have seperated, but they're going together for my Dad's class reunion. The hell?!

Parents so silly.

Suspect them of spiking my Dr. Pepper so that I won't notice such imperfetions in their lives.

Music: 'I'm Addicted to you'- Simple Plan

2003-06-28T17:42:00.000-07:00

Dont mind this, I just need to vent and nobody's online to talk to. Just ignore it, please.

My dad told me today that my parents are seperating.
First of all; DAD, what the HELL were you thinking?! You couldn't have sat me down and told me? Are you even sure yet? Or is this YET ANOTHER false alarm? JUst blurt it out like that, you fucking moron. I suppose I should be glad that you didn't tell me over Thanksgiving dinner, eh? Just one more reason I'd be like Chandler. He's my hero, I loff him.

I'm not sad, or surprised, exactly. Like this hasn't been brewing for a while. My mom's been sleeping down on the couch for a while now. Real smooth, mom. Walked downstairs to get a CD couple of weeks ago and she was there. No great excuse, either. Try, would you mom? Can't you just try?

And all the fights. Financial issues, you see. My dad's making all the money and my mom's spending it all. I pity mom here, I don't blame her. She just needs to spend, it's understandable. I don't blame her.
But during finals, when I was studying for my French examen, and he came down bitching about, as I said, financial issues. For his birthday we bought him the Boxset First Season of Stargate; SG-1, because I knew he liked it. He was compaining; apparently, mom had put it on a credit card. So he was bitching about his birth-day present.
Way to go, Dad! I'm fucking 16, do I want to listen to you and mom bitch to each other about finances? It couldn't have waited? I was trying to study my french, ASSHOLE!!!

What I'm most worried, however, is the fights. I know I'm going to be dragged into it. In fact, it's started already. My dad told me in the letter from my mom that she called him a horrible father.
How fucking ironic.
How fucking hypocritical!
She complained that he hasn't been around enough for me, as opposed to my mother who's been around all the time.
1.) Not fucking true.
2.) Even what she was around in my childhood she was always with my sister, trying to be a friend to her. Being friends with my sister means you have to taunt me and make fun of me. So I spent my entire childhood trying to run from my mother and sister's abuse.
I'm like black sheep of the family. The butt to every fucking joke at every fucking family reunion.
You know how everybody has some crazy aunt or excentric grandma or a weird cousin? I don't because I AM the damn crazy aunt and weird cousin or nephew. Everytime they get together, I hide because all the do is mock me and what I do and how I act. They actually make fun of me because I'm smart, did you know? Becaus I'm smarter than they are? Morons, all of them.
In fact, the only reason I like my brother Graham is because he only makes fun of me half the time, and because he gave me my guitar and because I love him for that. Thank you Graham, I do love you.

I know they'll drag me into their fights. My mom did it when my sister was here, and they always fought. I got a lot of reading done them, because they would always fight downstairs, in front of God, me, and everybody, and they would always find someway to use me for their arguments. Always. Fucking always. So I would always hide in my run, blast my music, read my books and generally ignore them.

I'm not surprised they're splitting up. They have before. A while ago, my mom moved out into the Shop (the older shop, er... nevermind...) and my sister and I would take turns spending a month with them or so. Was the most awkward Christmas ever.
But my mom and dad would ask if, should it arise, I would want to live with them permenatly.
Mom's been prepping me for this for a while, I think. To live with her, that is. She constantly asks 'if I took a job in, say, Californina, would you come with me?' 'If I decided to take school in Chicago, would you live with me?' I would say yes, or no, depending where we would be going, but I never asked why we would be moving without dad. I was just indulging her fantasies. Silly me.

My, my, my. But I do feel better.

2003-06-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

Why? Because I can and it's fantastic.

TheyWereAwfullyTightPants!Snape

You are...Rebel Snape! Found most commonly in
Marauder-era fics, you also crop up
occasionally in canon-era stories, usually when
you're shocking the hell out of Harry with your
utter coolness. With your leather clothing,
tight body, laid-back personality, and skill on
the Quidditch pitch, it's no wonder that
everyone from Lucius Malfoy to Voldemort
himself wants to shag you. However, when you
flip your ponytail and take off on your antique
motorcycle, readers might wonder just what
happened to Sirius Black...

What Wildly Out-of-Character Fanfic Snape Are You?
brought to you by

<$BlogTitle$>

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

2003-06-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

A handshake. A bloody handshake! BAH!

2003-06-26T22:25:00.000-07:00

Speak softly, so that I must strain to hear you.
Whisper so I must feel your breath.
Draw me closer with your words.
We can be close and silent

2003-06-26T13:59:00.000-07:00

Why? Because I can.

J Warcleaver: what's your favorite food, article of clothing (your own) and article of clothing (not your own)?

J Warcleaver: and did I really bore you last night?

lost onna no ko: 1.) Apples or the old Cashew Chicken they use to make at the Orient, but which now sucks because they're filling in their sauce with corn startch which really takes away from the flavor

J Warcleaver: k

lost onna no ko: 2.) I think, possible the shirt I'm wearing right now, 'cause it's not too tight but not too loose, buttons up, was really cheap, and matches everything. Or my arm band, but that's really jewelry, not clothing.

J Warcleaver: yeah

lost onna no ko: 3.) I saw a shirt that was just a nice green shirt, but had detached sleeves held on with garter belt things. Was so cool. I like corsets too, but I don't own any. Or that floor-length, silky see-through black duster I once saw. Or almost anything my friend Becky wears, 'cause she has the coolest clothing ever.

J Warcleaver: lol

J Warcleaver: I bet you'd look good in a dress.

lost onna no ko: 4.) Yes.

lost onna no ko: *shrugs* Depends on the dress.

J Warcleaver: ouch

lost onna no ko: You asked.

J Warcleaver: and you were honest.

lost onna no ko: Yup! Brutally so :-D

J Warcleaver: which is a good thing, most of the time.

lost onna no ko: Rarely, actually. *shrugs*

lost onna no ko: Was that all, then?

J Warcleaver: hmm...

J Warcleaver: What is your ideal mate, what characteristics do you want in a friend, and what is your favorite type of scene to write in a book.

lost onna no ko: (what do you mean by type of scene?)

J Warcleaver: (battle, romantic, sexual, etc.)

J Warcleaver: (scene theme)

lost onna no ko: 1.) He has nice hair, he's funny, free, smart, witty, loves me, trusts me, would never, ever even think of cheating on me because he knows that if he did I would castrate him with a firecracker, is open-minded, likes to try new things at least once, and is willing to try them twice just to make sure the first time wasn't a botch-up, loves to read and write, likes to dance, will humour me, likes to surprise me, will kiss me when I least expect it, will not be vain or over-arrogant, will not die just when I finally declare I love him, will not try to change himself or me for me or himself, will let me do my thing, will always be trying to improve upon himself, doesn't like stereotypical things, will gently scold me about smoking because he knows I love that, will not hurt me unless I ask....

J Warcleaver: hmm...

lost onna no ko: 2.) I want someone who will let me be and will argue with me constantly. Must be smart, as I'm horribly condescending to people whom I think is less intelligent than I. Should be fun, why else would I want to hang out with them? Must know when I want to be left alone. Must learn to trust me.

lost onna no ko: 3.) Romantic/Borderline Sexual and horror scenes.

J Warcleaver: hmm... x2

lost onna no ko: That all?

J Warcleaver: I have to absorb all that, hold on for just a moment.

J Warcleaver: a lot of information there.

lost onna no ko: *shrugs*

2003-06-25T18:14:00.000-07:00

People so silly.

New Top Ten List of Favorite HP Characters:
1.) Snape. This doesn't change.

2.) Fred and George. I smell a twinest fic. :D

3.) Sirius.
Wah.
Sirius.

4.) Dumbledore. Loff Rebellious!Dumbledore.

5.) Draco. I loff him, but he drops down for being more pratty and less sexy in this book.

6.) Remus Lupin. Because Young!Remus joking about his own lycanthopy? Very sexy.

7.) McGonagall. She kicks ass. The scenes with her and Umbridge? My favorites. She's so smooth and kick ass. Go McGonagall!

8.) Phineas (the headmaster portrait). Dunno why, exactly, he's just my type of headmaster. And a Slytherin. Love them Slytherins.

9.) Harry. Harry should be number one, as book is called Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, not Severus Snape and the Order of the Phoenix, though suspect the latter would sell better.

10.) Tie between Neville and Ron. Don't like Quidditch!Ron, but I do still loff him. Neville in the closed ward was tear-worthy. Poor Neville. *glomps Neville plushie*

That was really hard ^_^;;;

New Top Five List of LEAST Favorite HP Characters:
1.) Umbridge and Bellatrix Lestrange. Both shall die by my hands. (I do love Bella's name, though).

2.) Percy. Little Punk Ass.

3.) Cho. Little Ho. Always crying, acting all 'stereotypical teenage female'. Bah.

4.) Marietta. Got Dumbledore in trouble *Glare* She shall pay.

5.) Lucius Malfoy. *shrugs* I've never liked him. I'm not sure why. He's blonde and rich and Slytherin, which I love. AND he's the father of Draco, who I LOFFLOFFLOFF, but for some reason *shrugs* I don't like the man.

That last one was easier. :D

Music: "Crystal" by Stevie Nicks

2003-06-25T17:09:00.000-07:00

New Blog layout such a bitch. Can't find anything. This is why I never clean my room.

Must figure out how to archive. Yes.

Waah, had much fun at Workshop thingy. Very Memorable. Was the life of every party. Meet so many cool people. Hit on many of them. Good times, good times.

Read HP5.

Sirius.
Wah.
Sirius.

More later.

2003-05-31T10:36:00.000-07:00

*w00t!* Party Today! Bonfire! Hope the wind dies down so we can actually BUILD a fire O_o;
Am going to try to "organize" (ha) a game of capture the flag.XD I call Adam, Patrick, and Dustin for my team.

I'll post more about the party after the party. XD It'll be wild!

Music: "Bring me to Life" Evanescence

2003-05-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

AHHHHHHHAAAhaaahaaa!!! XDD Mr. Zelms kicks arse! Mr. Hanson's a loser, but Mr. Zelms, oh man oh man.... I think I'll miss math class with Adria and Becky more than any other class. It's definetly tied for first place with Mr. Baker's Mideaval World History class!
Era *snicker*shakes head* ahh, too much Mr. Zelms, too much.

Music: "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" and "Superman Can't Walk" by Good Charlotte

2003-05-29T13:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Hatchday to me,
Happy Hatchday to me,
Happy Hatchday dear Lostie,
Happy Hatchday to me.

Quelle age as-tu,
Quelle age as-tu,
Quelle age as-tu, Lostie,
Quelle age as-tu?

Music: "In Demand"- Texas

2003-05-28T13:10:00.000-07:00

The way I eat my apples makes me feel like a slut. I just can't eat apples in public anymore. They're just too juice! I take a bite, and then I have to suck or lick all the juice off the fruit, or my fingers, or wherever the juice has splashed. ^_^;; At least it's not a really juice carrot, though. Eh?

Music: "H"- Tool

2003-05-27T15:14:00.000-07:00

B is trying to gently nudge me into going out with Ken on friday. Ha.

Her Reasons (why I should go out with him)
-"He's really strong! He can curl me!"
-he's a wrestler
-he payed for everyone's dinner last friday.
-He's smart!

My Reaons (Why I should most definetly NOT go out with him)
-He's Dull
-I don't like his laugh (ha, I'm a bitch.)
-No matter what relationship we pursue, I foresee many awkward pauses in conversation.

It's been an awful long time since I've gone out on a "real" date with anyone *shrugs*
They say you know within 5 minutes of meeting someone whether or not you're going to sleep with them. One guess on what my decision is.
Let's face it: There's very little way any relationship would be productive on either of our parts.

My Struggle: (Mein Kampf, if you will)-
-My evil side says that I should get a couple of free meals off the guy and break it off.
-My other evil side says that I should waste my precious time with a useless venture such as this.

Interesting... I ponder furthur.

Music: Mostly Good Charlotte

2003-05-21T13:45:00.000-07:00

Presenting
POSTS FROM THE FUTURE!

5.21.2003

Last night, amist the theoros of passions with my loving, super-star husband, Johnny Depp, I accidently screamed the name 'Severus' instead of Johnny's usual pet name 'Eddie' (as in Edward Scissorhands, or Ed Wood, of course :D). As Harry Potter is now an archane cult classic, he has no clue what I'm talking about.
Sadly, I am posting from my loft in New York, because he is refusing to speak to me, and we both found it unbarrable to live together in our gorgeous french mansion.
I've never seen him so mad. Not even when he found out about Alan Rickman (who crogentically froze himself so we wouldn't have to face Society and it's harsh age-difference steroetypes) and my's secret love affair. I fear this may be the end of our relationship. But how can we break it off after such a small thing? It's just a name... a wrong name...

Johnny-love, if you're out there and are reading this, please forgive me! He's just a character, he means nothing to me any more! Oh Johnny... Angry Johnny...

Music: "One Day in Art Class" by: Stain Glass Martini

posted by Lost 3:52:51 PM

. . .

Interesting.
Disclaimer: I have no association with Alan Rickman nor Johnny Depp. Both are copyright themselves. None of the above is true. Yet.

2003-05-21T12:52:00.000-07:00

Birthday Count: 8 days. *woo*

2003-05-17T18:56:00.000-07:00

Was so tired this morning that I fell asleep with my eyes open. Gah.

Didn't go to the Track on Friday. My father told my mom there was a warrent out for her arrest, when really she just had a parking ticket. Why to be dramatic, Dad! Because of this frantic incident, my mother told me that she couldn't go to the Track and had to investigate what happened instead. *long-suffered sigh*

On a lighter note, we went to a French Festival instead of the Lewis and Clark Fest. Even though there were very few people there, and it was very oversold in the newspaper we saw it in, I had fun. My mother kept apologizing, because it rained and the festival was so small, but I really had lots of fun! *shrugs*

Also, to improve US-France relations, which have been very poorly lately, as my school is full of French haters -_____- *growl*, I've promoted Vincent Cassel from Second place on my Bishie list to FIRST PLACE! Sorry Alan, but our countries need all the help we can get!

So, WOO VINCENT CASSEL! *wolf-whistles* You sexy-sexy french man! Rugged! Bishie! Snuggable! I really must see if I can find a Jean-Francois action figure from "Brotherhood of the Wolf". :D Go Vincent!

Bishie of the Update: Vincent Cassel, baby! Go French actors, woo!
Music: "Pirates Who Don't do Anything"- Relient K, "The Lady of Shalott" Loreena Mckennitt.

2003-05-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

My mother has informed me that we will be waking early on Saturday to drive out to a Lewis and Clark Festive thing.

The Whole World may Kiss my Ass.

2003-05-15T13:26:00.000-07:00

Meh, I'll post later...

The Ring Count: Day 6

2003-05-13T13:17:00.000-07:00

Lost on Wanting More
Well, I opened up my e-mail today to find that out of my 11 e-mails, 4 were offering to "enlarge" soemthing. One was a financial thing. 6 were SS reviews (:D)
But it struck me that most people really are never satisfied. They always want more.
People want more money.
People want larger sexual organs.
"Supersize it, lard-ass!"
People want more power.
"We need more oil. Let's invade!"

So, why aren't we content? Good question. I do fine on what I have. I'm not looking to increase my bustline. I don't supersize my meals (unless i'm really, really hungry ^_^;). Moderation is important too, people!

Alright, I can tell this isn't going anywhere.

The Ring Count: 4

2003-05-12T18:14:00.000-07:00

FINALLY posted a (long) chapter of Secret Scars up. Rejoice.

2003-05-12T14:35:00.000-07:00

I really did have something to post today.... but what was it?

The Ring Count: Day 3

2003-05-11T10:01:00.000-07:00

This seemed like an interesting thing to post, and, a since referes to this Blog, I thought i'd post it.

Becky: Justin, what are you doing to that pencil?
Justin: (who is... making obscene jestures with the pencil and his hand) What? Oh, I'm just taking the eraser on and off.
Becky: Yeah, but that's not what it looks like.
Justin: *grin* I'm practicing my aim.
Lost: heehee! Well, stop stroking it, it's obscene.
Justin: What? I'm just grinding the eraser.
Lost: *pause*giggle*chokes on Mountain Dew as she laughs*runs off to the bathroom to recover*returns*
(silence)
Lost: You have big feet.
Justin: Not really. My feet only come to about here *points at shoe*
Lost: Wow. You have small feet. Oh! Lemmy see your hands!
(they compare hands)
Lost: Well, your hands are kind-of big. I guess they two cancel out, eh? *grin*
Justin: *glare* I'm going to wait till you take a drink to say my comment.
Lost: *suspiciously puts down drink*
(They talk, lalala, everything normal.)
Lost: *picks up soda, takes a drink*
Justin: I have a nice sized dick!
Lost: 0_____________0!!! *manages to swallow soda before freakingout* AAAHHHHHHH!!!! *runs off to hide behind Meridith*

A Few Days Later:
(Sitting at lunch)
Becky: Oh! Justin, did you ever ask her (Lost) what you were going to?
Lost: What? huh?
Justin: No, I can't even remember what I was going to ask.
Lost: Ask me what?
Becky: You know, about her...
Lost: What? What is it? Ask me!
Justin: Oh!! Right! I'm not going to ask.
Becky: He wants to know what size bra you wear, since you know about his... yeah...
Lost: Oh, that's not so bad. It's posted on the Internet.
(All turn to look at Lost, wide-eyed)
Justin: Lost!!
Becky: Oh! Right, 'cause you're blog thing, I remember.
Lost: *explains about the Bra Political Correctness Rant*

:DD

2003-05-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

Whoever wrote 'I Love Being a Girl" was obviously a man.

The Ring Count: Day 2

2003-05-10T14:38:00.000-07:00

Watched Signs and The Ring last night. Signs was only okay. I'm not sure how to break this to Robert.
I had to see The Ring for two very important reasons:
1.) I was the only person in the whole entire world that didn't see it in theaters
2.) At least 4 different people have told me I look like the creepy little Samare girl. It's because of the hair. That, and we're both demons that don't sleep and burn things with our touch. :-D

Well, the Ring was an OK film. The creepiest part was finding the dead girl in the closet. She was one icky lookign chick. It kind-of lulled in the middle, though. Too much detective work, not enough horror, in my opinion. Was fairly creepy at the end. I liked the part where Rachel plucked the fly out of the film.
All in all, I'd say it was a pretty good, scary film. Wish everbody and their brother hadn't told me the ending, though.

The Ring Count: Day 1

2003-05-07T15:08:00.000-07:00

The world is full of sick people;

Somebody stole my colored pencils.

2003-05-04T18:11:00.000-07:00

take the nerd test.

and go to mewing.net. a nerd utopia.

:D

2003-05-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

Lost on Underage Pr0n Writers
I know there are laws against minors having access to pr0n, but what about minors writing smut? Are there laws against that? I mean, what if a minor wrote smut, does that mean they couldn't read their own works? There are laws against minors making pr0n, I'm positive, but what about writing? Or drawing, for that matter? If anyone can clear this up for me, do e-mail me: Lost_in_the_forest@hotmail.com

2003-05-04T12:38:00.000-07:00

My computer's a bitch. My mother's disk is stuck in the A drive and it won't come out.
So I can't get ME disk in.
So I can't updated ANY of my stories.
So, uh... I can't post the newest chapter of Secret Scars yet.
*goes back into hiding*

Music: "Take Me Down to the Very Last Minute(?)"- ? (Radio)

2003-05-02T21:03:00.000-07:00

X-Men II kicked ASS!! *w00t!*
In all, we had a Wolverine (Dave), a Gambit (*BISHIE!Adam!), two Rogues (Me, cartoon/second movie Rogue and Caitlin "innocent" first movie Rogue. We had a length discussion on which of us was *really* the innocent one, since the tear in her tanktop just got lower and lower (:D Ho) and my top was a wee bit low-cut (:D Ho). Anyways,) and, last of all but NEVER least of all, Prestin, who arrived 8 minutes before the show started, covered in blue fingerpaint. He was NIGHTCRAWLER!! My FAVORITE from the cartoon! XDD And Prestin's just bishie anyways! :D
The best part of the costumes, besides the Rogue Hugs Caitlin and I shared :D, was how professional~ish Adam was. He refused to let me touch him without my gloves on. Am considering drafting him for a LARPing group i've been wanted to start. He'd be much fun, I'm thinking.

On the movie: KICK ASS! You know, many people say that the special effects in The Matrix were good. I say that X-men puts the Matrix to shame! In The Matrix, the SFX were the main point. In X-men, the SFX were so NATURAL; they looked so real and comfortable, not forced. It all looked like it was suppose to be there!

On Me: :D Two people told me that I really did look like Anna Paquin, the actress playing Rogue. :D *feels cool*

2003-05-02T13:18:00.000-07:00

w00t!!! X-men II opens tonight! I already have my ticket (7:00 *w00t*) and I'm gunna dress up as cartoon canon Rogue :D Even though Caitlin is already dressing as Movie Canon Rogue *pout* I'll be more goth, anyways. My only problem is what to do about my hair; I need to have the white stripe, but I don't have anything I can color it with! Without the stripe, I'm just a goth in a movie theater! With it, I'm a fan girl! And can crush on all the Scott- and Gambit-costumed :DDD W00T!!!

Music: 'H' by Tool

2003-04-30T15:08:00.000-07:00

Tonight's the Theater Arts class show. I'll tell you what it's about with the following short description:

sucks sucks sucks sucky sucks suckly sucks suckserson sucks suckilys sucks suckers who suck sucking sucking's suckish suck.

And, because it rhymes:

Ducks.

2003-04-29T15:14:00.000-07:00

Lost on Julius Caesar as Religious Symbolism

We're studying Shakespeare's Julius Caesar in English Communications this unit. Today in class, she prepped us for the scene we were about to read by telling her this was the worst, most sickening scene in the entire play. This scene is between Brutus, a kind and respected man, and Ligarius, a... fan? of his.
I will quote:
BRUTUS: Caius Ligarius, that Metellus spake of.
Boy, stand aside. Caius Ligarius! how?

LIGARIUS: Vouchsafe good morrow from a feeble tongue.

BRUTUS: O, what a time have you chose out, brave Caius,
To wear a kerchief! Would you were not sick!

LIGARIUS: I am not sick, if Brutus have in hand
Any exploit worthy the name of honour.

BRUTUS: Such an exploit have I in hand, Ligarius,
Had you a healthful ear to hear of it.

LIGARIUS: By all the gods that Romans bow before,
I here discard my sickness! Soul of Rome!
Brave son, derived from honourable loins!
Thou, like an exorcist, hast conjured up
My mortified spirit. Now bid me run,
And I will strive with things impossible;
Yea, get the better of them. What's to do?

BRUTUS: A piece of work that will make sick men whole.

LIGARIUS: But are not some whole that we must make sick?

BRUTUS: That must we also. What it is, my Caius,
I shall unfold to thee, as we are going
To whom it must be done.

LIGARIUS: Set on your foot,
And with a heart new-fired I follow you,
To do I know not what: but it sufficeth
That Brutus leads me on.

BRUTUS: Follow me, then.

My teacher explained that this was sickening because basically Ligarius was explaining saying is that he will do whatever Brutus wanted, be a completely blind follower, because he believes in Brutus.

She thought that this was a sickening show of complete blind competence and loyalty to an unknown cause. She urged the class to break free of this and to be their own person! To not follow others to our dooms! Don't become a blind follower to someone with an unknown plot!

So, naturally I thought of organized religion. And I thought about who, in this class, is religious? Was our teacher? I am not, as anyone close to me knows, in the least bit religious. I'm sure there are people out there who see me as a sacreligious, devil-worshipping heathen. In fact, I've been called a heathen before. *shrugs* It's not that I'm against religion, or religious people, I just have a cynical view of religion in general. I was brought up by a cynic. *shrugs* I'm not going to change my views if I don't really believe, and no amount of Church Chorus practices or Youth Group meetings is going to change that (*glares at Meridith and Jenn*)

I've digressed.

To get back on track, I was just thinking about how Ligarius could be a symbol for all the religious followers who are blindly lead through the journey called Faith by a priest, or a rabi, or whoever their leader may be. As anyone who's read Julius Caesar will know, Brutus believes that he and his conspirators are doing the right thing by killing Caesar. Ligarius believes he is doing the right thing by association. Could it be that the religious leaders, whoever they may be, think they're doing some great miracle for the people, when really they're leading them down a path of despair and danger?

Now I'm not saying that religious leaders are really succubi of evil leading innocent people down the path of Wrong-teousness. I really do think that they're good people, just trying to give people a bit of hope in a world that deserves none. But what if they're unwittingly doing it? Like if Caesar's death were to cause an evil dictator to take control of Rome, hence causing much death and war and pain, ect. They couldn't know that, so Brutus, and equally so Ligarius, while they had good intentions (and we all know what those lead to), did something that lead to very bad things.

*sigh*

I will refain from mention anything relating to Dogma, be it quotes, Buddy Christ, Alan Rickman, or anything else.

Alright, too much. I must stop now, really.

On A "Happier" Note:

I am 44% Evil

With a style rating of 56%

This score reflects a pathetic level of evil with sufficient style to look cool

Test created by Jamie - take it here.

*glare* Only 44%? Bastard. Have dispatched ninjas to kill them, their family, anyone they've ever liked, and their pets. They may kiss 44% of my ass...

2003-04-28T18:34:00.000-07:00

Bought more cheap movies!!
"The Closet"- French comedy. ^_^ Highly recommended *shrugs* and cheap, so hey!
AND! *drum roll* ORIGINAL DRACULA! Bela Lugois! Sweet, sweet silence!! *hopes from foot to foot* Draaaaacula! 1930's! 1931, if I remember correctly!

2003-04-27T13:44:00.000-07:00

Found written on a note card next to my bed this morning:
"Silvester Stalone just called SpyKids3 'sophisticated'. Am I delirious?"

Music: "Baby, It's Cold Outside"- Ray Charles and Nina Simone

2003-04-26T14:40:00.000-07:00

Follow Ups:
"It's back and it's bad. Cult classic, Phantasm IV starring Michael Baldwin will return." At 2:00 pm? That's afternoon prime time! Did they really have nothing better to show? How about a Batman movie or Gigi, or some really old GOOD movie! But Phantasm 4? Even the ANNOUNCER said it was bad!! AWFUL! *huffs and puts in 'American Werewolf in London' instead*

XD The bra I bought had a scale of names. And get this; it's Nearly A, A, Nearly B, and so on. NEARLY A! Wouldn't it suck to be called 'nearly A'? Not an A, a NEARLY A! *shakes head* For shame.

Music: "These Foolish Things" Ella Fitzgerald

2003-04-25T13:07:00.000-07:00

My Lord, Alan Rickman is an irresistably sexy man. Watched Rasputin last night. One moment, he was a devoted, loving faithful preist, the next a horny, druken bastard XD *gasp* and so passionate!

"I would cut these wrist if it would give you one moment of happiness on this Earth!"

Music: Nothing. :D Lord of the Rings in the background, though

2003-04-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

No words today *shakes head* Something back coming.
Behold Cassandra, shouting Doom at the gates.

2003-04-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

Am eating grapes and wishing for Rome. Wish I could be there. Do you think I could find a Roman pen-pal? Hmm... Postcards from Rome... *sigh*

Music: None, it appears my computer is perhaps broken again.

2003-04-22T16:24:00.000-07:00

CHEAPCHEAP MOVIE ALERT! *wooo* Got many. Want more.
Bought (for $4):
Little Shop of Horrors (YOUNGyoung Jack Nicholson! *woo!)
Rasputin (ALAN RICKMAN ALERT! *alarms sound* Sweet, sweet,glorious man. Almost didn't buy this, because it has beard!AlanRickman, but then I remembered I'm suppose to love him for his acting, not his body.)
Ed Wood (Young Tim Burton AND Johnny Depp!! *faints*)
American Werewolf in London
Vampire Hunter Miyu (Cheap Anime. Woo!)

2003-04-21T14:59:00.000-07:00

My mother has the nerve, the fucking nerve to try and lecure ME on drunk driving! Where was she when my sister completely totalled her car because she was drunk? Where was her high-and-mighty attitude everytime she or Dad or my sister or brothers offered me a beer? Or not offered, forced. Where was her cocky-ass, holier-than-thou-art attitude when she got pissed yester, Easter day, and called my brother's girlfriend by his ex's name?
*deep sigh* I feel better.

Music: "Run Baby Run" Sheryl Crow

2003-04-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

Brought my Severus Snape action figure today and was humoured to find that I had two in-the-cloest Alan Rickman fans in my mists! (In the closet about being ALan Rickman fans, not about their sexual preference...)
YAY FOR RICKMANIACS!! *woo*glomps SSaction figure*
:D Also, I got my verra cool math teacher Mr. Zelms to eject Snape's snake! XD By, uh... by pushing his arm down- that's it's action. It's what makes it an action figure. . . . It's really not perverse! *bii*

Music: "You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You" by Dean Martin.

2003-04-20T11:13:00.000-07:00

Lost on Religious Horror Flicks
The Exorsist (1,2,&3). The Omen (1,2,&3). Carrie. 'Salem's Lot. Actually, any vampire movie, Stroker's, King's, or anyone else's, will have aspects of religion in it, though usually benevolent.
So, why is religion such an important part in horror movies? I've even seen crappy horror movies (Phantasm4:Oblivion! Comes to mind) that have absolutely nothing to do with religion or priests or churches or ANYTHING, but they'll still include a random, subtle picture of a cross covered in blood or something! Phantasm4 was about Aliens! ALIENS!
So, I pose again, why is religion so scary? I know for me it's about you crazy-ass religion freaks comin' at me with pitchforks and torches trying to string me up and burn for my beliefs.
Er...
Is it because it's so Mysterious? Because we're not really sure who's up there, or if there really is anything? Is it the devil? Could we be so hungry for proof that we'll accept a little girl's possesion by the devil as a sign of God?
Think about it. I've gotten too philosphical, so I'm spliting. Hope I've given you something to think on...

Current Music: Relient K- "The Pirates WHo Don't Do Anything", Nena- "99 Red Balloons"

2003-04-19T13:08:00.000-07:00

Went to sleep at 3 am, woke up at 2:30 p.m. *shakes head* I need to get my sleep schedual BACK on track before school starts again, else I'm screwed.
Anyways, not much else to so. I need suck a crappy, boring life. -_- I feel like going to sleep again...

2003-04-18T11:56:00.000-07:00

Never thought it would happen, but I have reached levels in my writing that ought not have been reached. It's just... tooo bad. Too, too, too bad. *shakes head* Hence forth, the newest chapter of 'They Were Awfully Tight Pants' shall be heavily editted.
*shrugs* That's all.

2003-04-17T16:34:00.000-07:00

Lost on Bra Political Correctness
I was trying on bras today, when I noticed one had a tag declaring the size of said bra to be '36NB'. I pondered on what 'NB' could mean since the bra was clearly a size 36A.
Then, it came to me.
Let it be known! I am no longer a 36A! I, Miss Lost in the Forest, am a 36Nearly-B! Worship me in all my Nearly-B-ness!! WORSHIP!
For the love of God, people, I'm fine with being an A! (ecspecially when it turns out i'm a 34B :D) It just demeans me when you call it a "Nearly-B". Yes, it IS a "nearly-b", since B does come RIGHT after A. I suppose we're going to start calling B's "Nearly-C" and C "Nearly-D" and D "Very-Costly-Breast-Implant-Surgery".

Listening to: My new Squirrel Nut Zippers CD, "The Inevitable".

2003-04-17T16:10:00.000-07:00

Overwhelming feed-back from the Matt comment. My readers are up at arms. Have discovered new plan for world-domination.

2003-04-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

My "friend" matt called Secret Scars "your silly Snape story".
Am close to crying, but will assume it's PMS.

Current Music: "The Distance" by Cake

2003-04-16T18:17:00.000-07:00

3:15 a.m.- 4-16
I’m watching the WORST Sci-fi horror genre blend EVER to grace my TV screen. Phantasm Oblivion 4 (Starring Michael Baldwin). Hey, all you big-time movie makers out there; why make a sequal, never the less THREE, to a movie nobody's even heard of in the first place?

And what hokey voice over! "And that's me. Ice-cream Truck Driver by Profession." Do the writers even know what 'by profession' means? And really, how many people are Ice-Cream Truck Drivers BY PROFESSION! Not to stop there, he's an Ice-Cream Truck Driver turned ALIEN Assassin! Sounds like a cheap-ass video game to me.

As for story continuety- In the flash back, our Ice-cream truck driver by profession was balding on top. Now, he has magically either re-grown his hair, or found time to pick up so Rogain while the aliens were attacking. And just how do you get TURNED INTO an Alien? If you're born here, it doesn't matter WHAT you turn into, you're not an alien!!!

Beware the Tall Man!! Ooohh! Perhaps I should just beware ALL tall people.

EW! The Alien threw up yellow gack on him! Do they still make that Gack? *bleh*

AHHHH!! The lady ran off the robe because of that damn Turtle!! Damn the turtles! DAMN ALL THE TURTLES! Okay, not the Flaming Turtle. :D He's Cool!

2003-04-15T13:03:00.000-07:00

Ha! Posting without being told to. Rejoice! (Because I'm sure SO many of you out there are reading this ^.-)

Have become Anorexic. Sister is in town. The two are related.

Mom and I had a conversation the other day about how I wanted to have Meridith and Becky over to my house to watch Clockwork Orange. She said I wasn't allowed to watch it. I remember way back when I wasn't allowed to see Texas Chainsaw Massacer, but I am allowed to see it now. Still haven't seen it, oh but I will. Was a period when I wasn't allowed to see Dogma. As though she could stop me from seeing Alan Rickman in anything. Ha.

Current count: Not allowed to see From Hell or Clockwork Orange.
So, to mark the calender, First I was shield from Violence, then cussing/religion, and now Drugs and Sex. Am glad she's never seen Perfect Blue.

Bishie of the Moment: Hmm... Alan Rickman *nodnod*shrugs*
Listening To: 'Kiss From a Rose'- Seal

2003-02-24T15:31:00.000-08:00

I am nobody's best friend. This occurs to me, now, and I find it very disrupting. I am nobody's best friend. I'm that girl that everyone kind-of knows, but that nobody knows really well. I'm friends with lots of people, but we're not really... close. Why is this? Am I pushing people away? Or does my need to know everyone lead me to hop from person to person in an attempt to find my own, true soulmate? I feel very contemplative.

Bishie of the Update: Alan Rickman, because people age like wine.

Soung of the update: None ^^;

2002-12-25T20:03:00.000-08:00

I was looking back two posts ("I'm right. I know I am...) and then at that last line (I know what i'm talking about, and that's all that matters.) and I realized that I have absolutely no CLUE what I was talking about... heehee*sigh* Good Times.

Oh, I started re-writing.... er..... that un-named story i'm working on. ^_^; and I'm still not pleased with it! I am so picky... ^_^;

Freck is making me update ^_^ I was planning on doing it eventually anyway, but at least now I've got a jump-start ^__^

Oh, Oh! I saw Brotherhood of the Wolf over the weekend (I watched it 4 times, three times in english, one time in french XD) And Oh my holey fromage, is Vincent Cassel a bishie. He's so cinical and mean XDDD He is SO Sexy...... A Spine Sword! *bites knuckle* He makes me giggle *thinks about Vincent Cassel* *pause* *giggle*hides in her new comfy robe* Soooo Bishie.... Maybe even Bishier than Johnny Depp... And MAYBE even Bishier than Draco Malfoy..... I Know! It's a weird thought!! (By the by- Vincent Cassel plays Jean-Francois in Brotherhood of the Wolf, and he did the voice of Robin Hood in Shrek. And no, I don't think incest is sexy *biiii*)

Bishie of the Update: Well, if you have to ask, you obviously haven't read my post ^_^ *glomps Vincent Cassel plushie*

Song of the Moment: None, technically. I'm watching Friends. ^_^

2002-08-07T18:02:00.000-07:00

Gees, i'm working on it

2002-08-07T17:54:00.000-07:00

I'm right. I know I am. I'm right. But i'm wrong. er... Nevermind. I know what i'm talking about, and that's all that matters.

Anyway... er... that's all ^_^; Just updating the Archives!

Song of the Moment: Hallelujah, performed by Rufus Wainwright

2002-07-01T16:56:00.000-07:00

a href="http://www.quacktastic.net/jenverz/tests/matrix/" target="mt">

You're slick, sleek, and you waste no time when there's a mission to be taken care of. You do what you're told, even if it sometimes means risking your life. You care for others to such an extent that you'd do anything for the ones you love. Not only that, but you're stylish, original, agile, and passionate.

You are 90% evil! [?]

Satan, step back! You're the evilest of evil! No person is completely evil, and no person's all good either, but you're just a hop, skip, and jump away from king or queen of Hell! Good job!

You're PRIDE! You like yourself, and you aren't afraid to show it. You don't like to admit when you're wrong, and you think you're better than most. You're represented by the color violet.

Ahhh, this isn't the first test to say so.

2002-07-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

Your magical style is Priestess.

What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox
Not just Priestess, HIGH Priestess

you're girl, interrupted. you're fun and friendly, and just a little bit crazy.

take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the slinkstercool community.

I am terrifyingly evil!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

Tsk! Though you're not as hollow as the soulless ones, you're filled with unnecessary hatred and scorn.

Virtues: You have none, honestly. All you want is a friend to torture and harass with you! Admittedly, it sounds fun, but honest to god, you need a hobby. Your favorite pasttimes include: bumping into inanimate objects without apologizing, poking little girls in the tum-tum, and putting plastic snakes in the neighbor's driveway. I'm sorry, but you suck at harassing. Take a tip from me: verbal harassment is teh r0x0rz.

Aspirations: Hitman? Satan?

Quirks: Happy people. You just don't like them, do you?

Factors: What happened in your troubled past? I mean, was your father a llama or is it just one of those things where you were the bad child and your sweet little sister was the only one who came out right (*cough, Ali, cough*)? That's okay. I understand.

Future: Counseling seems like the best bet for you. Enjoy the sweet, sacred times you'll have on medication.

width="300" height="150">

Which Angel would you be?
By Angel Falls

what's your battle cry? |
mewing.net | merchandise!

Meh?

I am Rapunzel!

Find your fairy tale character at kelly.moranweb.com.


	All the great heroes can fly. And thats what I am, a great hero. I am well rounded. I have a good sense of right and wrong. I seek to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people, but my friends always come first, especially if it's a romantic interest. Despite my amazing gifts, I prefer a quiet position away from the limelight, maybe among the clouds. What's your superpower?

2002-07-01T14:02:00.000-07:00

take the emo quiz.created by jessi

"One day you'll see a strange little girl feeling blue..."

Which Strange Little Girl would you be?

This quiz made while Angel was procrastinating her ass off.
Your life has never been easy. You grew up in a home that wasn't the most loving or kind, and was perhaps downright abusive. You've always been just a little too different, not quite like the others. You often walk through crowds of people and feel like a foreigner in a strange land. When things get too hard for you, your instinct is to run: run away to another place, run away into the safe corners of your mind, run to someone new. People often describe you as wise beyond your years, because you know too much. You feel much older than you are, and life seldom holds true joy. You need to escape the cell you've made in your mind, and live without the strains of the past.
Holy Shit.

I'm Vintage Madonna, who are you? Madonna Quiz by Turi.

2002-06-22T13:48:00.000-07:00

Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's Crafty
Damn. Straight.

What's Your Style? Find out @ She's Crafty
True Dat!

Which Buffy Girl Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
Willow's the Coolest. Actually, Gilles is the coolest. He's one bad mothah... ^_______^ he's kick-ass

Which Buffy Guy Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
But... but I wanted to be Xander! or Giles!

Which Buffy Guy Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
^_____^ Giles, you're one sexy watcher *biiiii*

Who's Your Inner Buffy Bad-Girl? Find out @ She's Crafty
YES! Drusilla! ^____^ She's coooooool.
I want to play a game..... XD

Which Buffy Bad Guy Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
Mmmmmmmm Spiiiiiiiiiike..........

2002-06-22T12:28:00.001-07:00

Which Rocky character are you?
^________________^ Hilarious

I'm Kurt Wagner
What X-Men Character are You?
Yeah, He always was my favorite ^_____________^

Which HP Kid Are You?
At first I got Ron, and I thought 'Bull, I don't want to be the sidekick" Then I got Harry. Meh. Then I got draco ^_____^ bingo! But the above Harry pic was the cutest ^______^ *glomps Harry Plushie.

2002-06-22T12:28:00.000-07:00

2002-06-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

*Take This Test!*

...? Okay

*Take This Test!*

That looks yummy....

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amazing, practical,
and always interesting.

someone who is constantly the center of attention,
but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head.

They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding,

someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

^___________^ *proudness*

Okay, end quizz session

2002-06-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

Take the animal crackers test by MK
^_^ Keen

I'm the purple shimmer Doc Marten...
I'm a little spunky, definitely fun,
and I like believing in fantasy

Which Doc Marten are you?
(by *coffeebean*)

*shruggS* No, i've never heard of it either. But I want a pair.

See which Greek Goddess you are.

Damn straight i'm Athena! She kicks ass!

Take The Ice Cream Flavour Test!*

*shruggs* yeah, okay ^_^

discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com
Sour? Sweetheart? Hold on, i'm taking it again....
Again! Lemonheads! Huff!!!

Click here to find out!!!">
But... that's just confusing!! hmm...

Click here to find out!!!">
Yeah, I'm not really surprised...

The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz
...?

2002-06-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

What Psych-Ward do you belong to?
Hmmm...

Autism-Most autistic children are perfectly normal in appearance, but spend their time engaged in puzzling and disturbing behaviors which are markedly different from those of normal children. They may stare into space for hours, throw uncontrollable tantrums, show no interest in people (including their parents) and pursue strange, repetitive activities with no apparent purpose. They have been described as living in a world of their own. Some autistic individuals are remarkably gifted in certain areas such as music or mathematics, as depicted in the film Rain Man. All need help.
No, that's not me at all. *sarcasmsarcasmsarcasm*

Accute Stress-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder-The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which the person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others and the person's response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror.
And which do YOU think works better for me??? HMMMMMM???

Green

You are a very calm and contemplative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature.

Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

HA! HAHA! GREEEEEEEN! ^_____^ *proudness*

If I were a Tetris block, I would be a T-Shaped Tetris Block!

Using a range of workshop techniques, I can create a new dynamic paradigm to address any problem that you are facing. My innovative solutions are written about on bathroom walls across the world.

In short, I am so flexible you could use me as a hairband.

Analyse your personality in Tetris Blocks!

I am 44% evil.

I could go either way. I have sinned quite a bit but I still have a bit of room for error. My life is a tug of war between good and evil.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

Fuckers...

2002-06-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

Which tarot card are you?

I Took it once-

Take the The "What Teen Label Do You Fit Into Most?" Quiz!
by antiperfect

I didn't like that, I took it again-

Take the The "What Teen Label Do You Fit Into Most?" Quiz!
by antiperfect
Hmm.... interesting...

Which "Natural Wonder" are you?

^_^ i thought so!

What Psych-Ward do you belong to?
Last time I took that test it Said I had Autism. I like Autism. It was shorter and easier to type.

2002-06-01T17:53:00.000-07:00

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

But... how can I do that? Not hang out with my friends anymore? Not bloody likely!!

2002-06-01T17:42:00.000-07:00

Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz

2002-06-01T17:25:00.000-07:00

Which Rock Chick Are You?
I like Garbage (the band). YaY!

2002-05-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

I'm going to play a little game I like to call 'Killing Time Waiting For Mother Who Was Suppose To Be Here About An Hour Ago But Probably Forgot About Me Again And Probably Still Wonderign Why I Didn't Get Her A Mother's Day Present...' Long title, ne? I'll just call it 'Killing Time'

In today's addition of 'Killing Time' we're going to compare one or two of my cats with characters from Harry Potter! YAY!!!

Hercules- (My kitten ^___^) He use to be a very laid back, generally evil cat, Very much like Draco, but then we got him shaved. When he got home imediatly after being shaved, he was very... uncomfortable. He looked like he was out of his atmosphere, kind-of like Neville. Now he's more of a stick-like, but soft cute kitten =^-^= He seems very innocent, like Ron.

Okay... well, I still have time leftover.... hmmmm....

Mom Cat-(crabby old woman) Mom Cat reminds me a lot of Professor McGonagall. She's a crabby, cinical old biddy.

Alright, that's all i've got...

Sexy Guy o' the Day- Draco! Who else ^_____^ mmmm... draaaaaacooooo
Song of the Day: Radio... I dunno what i'm listening to ^_^;
Thought of the Day: Ugh... thoughts... I don't have any thoughts. Think up your own damn thoughts *biiii*

2002-05-28T12:59:00.000-07:00

You are Pamela (me!). You like video game and anime characters, collecting books and DVDs and surfing (alot) on the web. You watch a lot of Star Trek and go to comic book and sci fi conventions. You surf through messageboards and attempt to put in your lame ass opinions any chance you get. You probably run your own website with it's own messageboard and buy unnecessary stuff on auction sites. You're a nerd and you know it. You probably even made your own dumb quiz.

Take the Which Black Daisies Character Are you Quiz?

I am freakishly amazed at the accuracy of that test.

You are the most universal mythical beast ever. Sightings of the unicorn have been reported from all over the world, even in these modern times. Unicorns are pure and incurruptible. In China, unicorns symbolised gentleness, good will, and wisdom. Christianity links the unicorn with Christ. It is said that unicorns would only allow virgin girls to see them, let alone touch them. They were easily lured into fatal ambushes by a virgin with some potchers waiting for the unicorn in nearby bushes. A unicorn's horn was a highly prised possesion, which was reputed to have great healing capabilities. With the touch of its horn, a unicorn could bring back a person who had been dead for several hours. But when disattached from the unicorn's body, the magic was suggnificantly reduced and could only protect against poison. The unicorn had the body of a horse, a unique spirling horn, and a lion's tail. They were pure white in color. Congradulations, you are a rarity amoung mythical beasts. There aren't enough of people like you in the world.

What mythical beast best represents you? Take the quiz!

Unicorn! *biiiiiii* Take that, Jean ^.- Just kidding, I love you

2002-05-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

I had a dream two night ago... I don't remember it exactly, but my mother and I got into and arguement and she told me that she hated me, and that I should run away from home, so I did. THen I woke up...

Last night's dream:
My mother was pregnant, and she was going to give the baby the bike that I will be getting for my birthday (in... 3 days) I was trying to argue with her, and she told me to shut up, and that I should leave and run away from home.
That's the only part really having to do with my mother, but i'm going on because it was weird-

So I did, and I went to an insane asylum. They were nice to me there, and we went out on walks a lot. One day we were walking, and there was this bridge, but it wasn't really attached to the ground or anything. It was suspended in midair, but the end looked like it was attached to to ground. It went out into a wild, overgrown forest, even though we were in the middle of a city. The people taking care of me asked me what the voices told me, and I said "to run and fly" and I ran onto the bridge, and was going to jump off, but I stopped. I don't remember why I stopped, but I think I said "i'd have to be insane to do that."
Then my friend Jenn appeared and stepped onto the bridge, along with some younger boys I didn't know. When ever they took a step, the bridge disappeared behind them. I walked off it, and when ever I started to put my foot down for the next step, a line of bridge re-appeared.
Suddenly, a boy driving a helicopter came down from the sky. It was being chased by more helicopters, which were shooting at it. It swooped down close to the ground, trying to shake the other helicopters off, and I quickly hopped in. I told the boy to drive near the buildings, because the people chasing him wouldn't want to hit a building. He didn't argue, 'cause he knew I was right. (insane my ass...)
The other helicopters didn't hit us, but we did hit a building, and the boy had to dive down and almost land, because our helicopter's engine was going to fail. But!!! It didn't! and we continued flying, and we aventually lost them.
Apparently, the boy was some sort-of boy genius who was being chased by the government. And, because I had "helped him" I was being chased too. So we pretty much ganged up and hid from them. We had a bunch of hiding places, and we changed each season. We had a nice little beach house for the winter, apparently ^___^
Anyway, I was starting to really miss all of my friends, and I wanted to let them know I was okay. This is a cool bit of dream here, I think... like a movie-
The boy (don't know his name) walks into the main room of our beach house, and I'm standing there, blonde (don't ask me) wearing a white, sleeveless, belly-less (O.o) tight, plastic-looking shirt, tight pants of the same matereial, and boots. I have a holster with a gun in it. Behind me are a group of heavily armed military men, holding me hostage. The boy looks at me questioningly. I point to a letter on the floor. Zoom on the letter. All that's visable is "east-side beach house" Flash back to a year ago or so-
I'm writing a letter to my friend Becky. I write "We'll be at the east-side beach house next winter. I want you to come and meet us here. I want to try and help people, but we've been fighting for our lives so much, we don't really have a chance to do any good."
I tell the boy that I have some business to take care of, and I leave for the school where my friends are at. I go in, and it was nothing how It use to be. The boy and I have been hiding for so long, that we haven't had a chance to concentrate or even keep up with politics. Apparently, the US has been taken over by some guy who was generally well liked, but totally evil. Evil, but nobody could tell. What really sucks- He was visiting the school that I was visiting while I was there. I snuck in, and the place is totally crawling with military inforcers and body guards and the sort. No one can get out, so I have to stay the whole day in the school.
All the classes were held in mass. They were teaching on page 763, i think, when I found Becky. I gave her the letter, but she didn't recognize me. I told her to read it later, and to make sure no one else saw it. The dictator was coming down the row I was in. I swung into a seat, stole a notebook and pencil, and pretended to be copying the person next to me's homework. He went by without even looking at me. I couldn't get out, though, so I decided to spend the day here. For some reason (-_-;), I was totally thrilled to be back in a normal, high school routine.
Eventually, after being assigned 300 (litereally, I am not exagerating) problems from pages 763 to 768, we got let out to PE. Get this- co-ed locker rooms, but seperate male and female PE classes! Isn't that insane! I found Meridith in the locker room, and she took me to Girl's PE. We both decided we didn't want to do track, and we joined the Boy's PE class.
This is were I wake up. I never got to find out who Becky told, or is the boy and I escape, or anything. Suck dreams do.

Sexy Guy o' The Day: Default sexy guy Draco :-D
Song of the Update: Silence for all but the last paragraph or so. Then more Belle and Sebastian. :-D
Though of the Update: Dreams are just facts with exciting details to keep you entertained.

2002-05-24T21:09:00.000-07:00

Ohhhhh, loooooord..... This is worth reading, I think... *deep, healing breath* okay... okay...

Oh goddess...

Okay, so, I was sitting at the Bonifest (carnival thingy), and we were talking, and I said how fun it would be to just go up to some strange guy and kiss him.

Oh, for the love of god...

And Meridith said how much she would love to do that too, and so did Jenn, but Jenn would agree with jumping off a building (and has, in fact) if we all said so. Anyway, the all started pointing out guys to go and kiss. I was totally afraid that they would all have girlfriend and there would be akward...

Oh lord....

So, eventually, we find a guy, and I decide "this is it! i'm gunna fulfil one of the things on the 'todo before I die' list!!!"

Oh my god.

So, I finaly go up, grab his face, and kiss him... very sloppy. Then...

Oh good goddess

... His girlfriend shows up. I know of her. Kelly Ostrander. Never liked the girl. I hid, and she goes "I would appreciate it if you didn't kiss my boyfriend."

The over all good part:
Apparently everyone hates Kelly Ostrander. And, also apparently, Justin and Jenn spread word to everyone about it. People were talking about it, i'd show up, and they'd all be like "Good job!" and "You're my hero!" (yes, more than one person said that...) and giving me high fives and such... Oh man, it was so weird!!!!!!!! ^__________________^

Sexy Guy o' The Day: Guess! ^.- still don't know the guy's name ^___^;
Song of the Update: No song, but The Late show with David Letterman *shruggS* my dad was watching it, not me...
Though of the Update: When kissing random guys, make sure you come up behind, and surprise them, or it's not nearly as fun ^______^

2002-05-23T15:11:00.000-07:00

*shruggs* not much to say

.F.I.N.A.L.S..W.A.T.C.H. 2002
-PE: Check and Completed. Damn easy.
-Math Final: Check and Completed.
-Global Perspectives: Check and Completed. *shruggS* don't think I did too bad
-Honors Biology: *shruggs* i'm not too worried.
-Honors English: Check and Completed.
-French: Check and Completed. Glad that's over...
-Art: I know what the Art final is, it'll be eaaaaaasy! No worries here :-D

Sexy Guy o' The Day: The other guy at school with the nice hair... Not Tyler... the other one.. Meridith knows who i'm talking about...
Song of the Update: "Beautiful" Belle and Sebastian. It's a really pretty song, sad though, and almost creepy. I like it in the third or so verse, where all the insturments are added in, slowly. It gives it a cool sound.
Though of the Update: It's very important to know when to talking things out and when action is the best plan. I suggest working on this skill now, in high school, when it doesn't really matter as much. Speaking as someone who is fine tuning this ability, it is totally invaluable. Just so you know.

2002-05-22T13:12:00.000-07:00

okay, well, re-thinking the whole suprise party thing. I'm going to something not at all similar, but along the same topic. And if that turns out well, i'll still do my first plan.... really, you sound so interested, i'm sure...

Now, on
.F.I.N.A.L.S..W.A.T.C.H. 2002
-PE: oh, yeah, hold on, I have to study for the PE final. Yeah, Right.
-Math Final: Check and Completed. Badly, though -_- i totally blanked on half the stuff *sigh* Spoot.
-Global Perspectives:Ugh. Ughughughughugh. I should study, but screw it, i'm not going to.
-Honors Biology: Well, copied the study guide off someone. What else is there to do? *biii*
-Honors English: Check and Completed. I am surprised, I think I did well ^_^ *shruggs* who can tell?
-French: Je ne comprend pas le francais. Non! Pas le francaaaaaaaais!! AHHHH! IT BUUURNS!!!
-Art: Art shouldn't be too hard. It's kind-of hard to study for it *shruggs*

Sexy Guy o' the Day: Hmmm.... Hard to say. I think i'm in a Tyler mood today. Yes, Jean. I think Tyler is sexy. He has dead sexy hair. And, just to set the record staight, I saw him before Becky or Meridith or ANYONE else noticed him! I always thought he had sexy hair, so you're copying off me!!!
Song of the Update: "Get me Away From Here, I'm Dying" and "It Could have been A Brilliant Career"-Belle and Sebastian
Thought of the update: Don't over think things, people. You'll end up backing out at the last moment, and creating a backup plan for the previous backup plan which is now the plan. The point is: just the kiss the guy, dammit!! Er....

2002-05-21T15:34:00.000-07:00

Randomness-

Tall, dark, and RUGGEDLY handsome!
And me, I always thought I was into Legolas *shruggs*

Legolas is my fancy!
What's your fancy? Click here and tell the world!
It's hard to tell, but it says "Beginning to suspect that all that Elvish poetry about the glory of warrior-bonds between men just big cover-up for illicit spanking games."
So true. So true.
Okay, that's all :-D

2002-05-21T13:05:00.000-07:00

I'm only trying to make this thing work. Why is it being so damn fussy?

Ahhh.... Three Days of finals ahead. I am so excited, too. Just look at me jump. Look at me!!

Ohhhh, i'm having an end of the school year/it's almost my b-day*bleh* party on the 25th. A Bonfire. I'm very excited, because if the right people show up, I'm going to do something very important. It's going to be a "open the can and fling the worms onto the ceiling" sort-of thing. I'm verraverra excited. :-D It's a secret what i'm going to do till I actually do it, then it's going to open up a brand new topic for debate. *evil snicker* Jean, if you're reading this *biiii* don't tell a soul, it has to be a secret!!!

That's all for now *mwahaha*

Sexy Guy o' the Day: Older Anakin Skywalker. "You're exactly how I remember you... in my dreams." It's an awfully sleazy line, but he manages to pull it off really well!
Song of the Update: Many Belle and Sebation songs- "If You Are Feeling Sinister", "Fox in the Snow", and "Take Me Away From Here, I'm Dying"
Though of the Update: Do whatever you think is right, regardless of what other people think, will think, say, or will say. They don't matter. Also, never taunt the mafia. :-D

2002-05-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

Fool. That's a fun word, fool. Fooooool! Shut it, fool! Dance for me, fool! DANCE!!!

*sigh* I'm tired.

I want to sex Draco's body. *sigh* I wish he were real. He's so sexy. And clever... And witty... mmm...... hot-Draco-body-ness. *sigh*

Evil Lost: Good lord, you're weird.

*sniff* shut it, fool...

Song of the Update: No song, but I am watching Saturday Night Live *shruggs*
Though of the Update: I really should be working on my paper *sigh* Oh well...

2002-04-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

trying to change the name & format again, but BLOGGER is being EVILE O.o evileeeeeeee!!!! *biiii*

Nobody wants to hear about my life, so i'm trying to think of a good little catch to get people to come to me site.... 'but what?' I ask... WHAT?! Here's a possible list of things:
1.) Bring in special guest stars from other bloggers and interview them
2.) Bring in special guest animals and interview them
3.) Three words: Bedroom Web Cam...
4.) Put different items through the washer (and maybe the dry, which we know everyone doesn't like as much) and show before and after pictures
5.) Kidnap lawn decorations and take them on a video diary road trip
(This next one is deticated to Meridith and Becky) 6.) Have an extensive list of rating for the shape, feel, and 'all around niceness' of guys: Butts, Abs, and Hair. (all ratings would be brought to you by Meridith and Becky themselves ^.-)
7.) Once a week, I choose someone to stalk, them document as much info as I can about that person, then give them this blogger address and freak them out ^______^
8.) Best Bellydancing Music
9.) Best champange in a box
10.) Best Men's Names
11.) A Latelate Night Show Host joke-off! (Today's topic: George W. Bush junior... annnnd... GO!) (Craig Kilborn and Conan O'brien can e-mail me at lost_in_the_forest@hotmail.com with their jokes)
12.) A 'fill in the blank' contest. (this week's sentence: When I go to the tundra, I like to __________)(contestents can send in your entries to: Lost_in_the_Forest@hotmail.com)
13.) "When They Hit Puberty" pictures of famous actors/actresses
14.) Odd un-explainable superstition of the week- On Leap Year, every girl must wearr a scarlet flannel petticoat which is at least partly visable below her dress. This means you!!
15.) Odd death-predicting superstition of the week- If a crow lands on a building, someone in that building will die soon.
16.) Random French Word of the Day
17.) Random "You Had To Be There' quotes
19.) "When They Hit Puberty" pictures of famous actors/actresses
20.) "Childhood Memories that May or May Not Explain Why I am How I Am"
21.) "Real Words that Sound Dirty but Aren't"
22.) "Good Undiscovered Band Names"
23.) "Bad Published Poetry of the Week"
And, finally-
24.) Less 23-bullet lists

E-mail me with other suggestions or choose your favorite one ^___^ lost_in_the_forest@hotmail.com

2002-02-01T15:27:00.000-08:00

I want to die ;-;

I've lost 3 years of work on my computer, and I've fallen deadly ill ;-; I have a 101 degree temperature, headaches, stomach aches, my nose is stuffed up, my throat is so sore I can hardly even swallow my tylenol ;-; And i'm cold all the time, even when I'm under layers of blankets O.o *sob* I huuuuuuuuuurt ;______________;
Jenn thinks it's all in my head...

It was nice, though. Hilly called me after school and told me that during lunch all of my friends went out to the payphones at school and called me *sniffle* I feel so loved and cold! (and hungry, and thirsty, and all around pretty bad... *sigh*)

Song of the update: There is no song, all of the MP3 that i've downloaded have died, so I have nothing to listen to.
Thought of the update: ;-; don't get sick people

2002-01-17T16:10:00.000-08:00

Wow... I just read what I wrote yesterday, and it was full to the brim with spelling and grammer mistakes O.o The Speling Demon was at my house last night!! I wonder how anyone can read my writing...... I must be word-blind or something...

Hmmmm..... nothing much to report... I could say much, but i'm not going to... I have reasons -_- *coughdamnednonbelieverscoughhack*

*sigh*

Song of the update: "5 days of tequila", "Vampire", "The Look of Love" all three sung by Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra. Yes. That's right. Japanese Ska. I didn't believe it at first my self, but there's living proof... ^-^ It's good too!
Thought of the update: I dare you to go out and tell one person what you really think about them. Bet you can't.

2002-01-16T13:43:00.000-08:00

Okay, well, i didn't Blogg yesterday 'cause then i'd feel like a total loser with no life... -_- which I am, but I don't feel like I am...

Oh! ^-^ my only news- i know have a 'boyfriend'. Yes, you read me, a 'boyfriend'. He's not real, we mad him up in gym... Apparently my friend Jean is being.... sort of stalked by this guy, Michl (sp?) Bender, and wanted to get away, so she told him she's going to tell him about her 'boyfriend'... I wanted one too, so they gave me one... Now, all you readers, keep in mind that in NO WAY influenced the name or location of my 'boyfriend.' My'boyfriend's' name is Matt Brown and he lives in Granit City. Okay, so I did influence it a *wee* bit... They wanted to give him a really weird last name, like 'Chazolutine' or something weird and long like that O.o... i said 'Matt Brown. His name is Matt Brown.'
Well, i have a 'boyfriend', now all I need is a boyfriend... Er... after Valentine's Day, of course*

Ellie: ]:-D

No.

Song of the Update: 'Welcome to my Nightmare' one by Alice Cooper, the other from Rurouni Kenshin... same name, very, very different songs... I liked the second one better
THought of the Update: Dance, as often as you're alone, or in public, but not in the bathroom, because you could slip and fall, and not in front of the Edwardsville Mob Hang out, because they might shoot you. If you want to know what the Eville Mob Hangout is, you're just going to have to email me and ask :-D lost_in_the_forest@hotmail.com

*It's a pack with my self- i swore I would never have a boyfriend on Valentine's Day... It's a gothic holiday, so i dress up in my gothic threads and makeup and then I just don't give a damn -_- Jenn invited herself into my little personal anti-Valentine's Day ritual -_- how nice of her... hmph...

2002-01-14T14:17:00.000-08:00

WoW!!!! O.o blogging THREE days!!!! IN A ROW!!!! Amazing! And... weird... even for me!

Whelp!! ^_______^ No night terrors, but whatever is wrong with my blood sugar level is acting up again ^-^ I'm not worried, though...

I wanna be sedated ^-^ LoL! ^___________^ *grooves to spiffy japanese cover songs*

That's all man! ^_____^ I feel like writing, and singing, and dancing senselessly ^____________^ Which I will!

It's all groovy, nothing's the matter, Peace and Love and, most of all, ~Sweet Dreams~

2002-01-13T16:27:00.000-08:00

Okay... I gave Eddie my blogger addy, so now i have to go and edit some of my archieves *shifty eyes*..... I should do that anyways.....

With that out of the way, and with my fingers warmed up (from TYPING!!!!!!), I figure this would be a good time to do this-

*deep healing breath*

I know none of you will ever read this, so I don't feel the least sad doing this. Oh he..... heck, i wouldn't feel bad even if you did read this.

Hilly, Jenn, you are both absolutely awful horrible people. Oh, yeah, Polly... i'll add you in here too, because you deserve this-
Hilly & Jenn- Why must you always lie to me? What have I done to deserve it? I see, because I am insane and sometimes incomprehendable I don't deserve respect or incouragement or the truth about ANYTHING!
Hilly & Polly- How do I say this nicely? Oh, wait, I don't- you're both sluts. Hilary? What the hell was up with you throwing your self on Adam? begging him to make out with you? Are you out of your fucking mind?! And Polly- if you could get any more obvious, then I could become Asian.
Jenn- you don't have to pretend around me. I know you really liked Mack, but whenever you were around me you said he was horrible! You cussed at him, you said he was the worst person ever... then, when you're around him, he can hit your friends, yell at us, insult us, and you won't lift a finger against him. You deserve to die alone. Let that tell you how much I hate you right now.
Hilly and Jenn- i know, you both think i am you best friend ever, but i hate you both. Don't you see it? you're both so mean! You are actually horrible human beings. I understand that I am weird and sad and stupid, so I suppose I don't deserve to have good friends.

I am disgusted with you all. I can't wait for tommorow -_- it going to be a badbad day...

*glomps all my NICE friends (Lieko, Acey, Freck, Hoshi, Karth... the rest... You guys are the BEST!!! ^-^*

Song of the Update: "Daydream Believer"- Shonen Knife (it's a Japanese band doing a cover... ^-^ both versions are nice!)..... odd, isn't it?
Thought of the Update: People need to be more real.

2002-01-12T17:42:00.000-08:00

Didn't get into a Sound of Music *blehbleh* My mom said she could see Eddie as Rolf and me as Leisl... to avoid saying anything I didn't want to say, I pointed out that fact that I was taller than him... Other than that- No Comment...

OHOH! I don't usually get excited over clothing, but i bought this aboslutely AWESOME SHIRT!!!!!! ^-^ it was a blue, stretchy tank top, and it had loose, long sleeves connecting at the arm pits ^_________^ It has bare shoulders!!!! It's like something out of a manga!!! It's so COOL!!!!!! :-D

Song of the Update: 'Low Down Man'- Squirrel Nut Zippers
Thought of the Update: Give in to internal feelings. And always remember to breath.

2002-01-11T13:25:00.000-08:00

FINALS OVER!!!!! FINALS ARE OVER!!!! FINALS. ARE. OOOVVVEEERRR!!!

Hilly and Jenn are still mad at each other.
Umm... Finals are over.
I'm mad at Patrick and Adam -_- meanmean people
I passed Government, Biology, and Language Arts... I dunno about my other classes ^-^;
Haven't had my night terrors in a few days ^_____^ Maybe it was just two nightmares!
I auditioned for a Sound of Music, but rumor has it they're only excepting blondes -_- which SUCKS MONKEYS!!! ^______^ But I got to see my friends Polly, and Rachel, and Eddie (mwahaha! I had a dream that he was James Bond, in the opening sequence where he shots into a hole... i dunno which movie... ^_____^ It was weeeeird!)! ^-^
I think that's all... I dunno if I got into the play.... i'm not blonde, so who knows -_- *bitterbitterbitter*

Song of the Update- 'Just Communication', 'Rhythm Emotion', 'Piano Black', 's.PeEd.'
Thought of the Update: Take a deep breath, and just try...

2002-01-08T16:19:00.000-08:00

I guess I should inform the people of the world that are so desperate to know about the happenings in my life that-
Jenn dumped Mack...
Hilary and Patrick 'mutually broke up'...
Jenn and Hilly now hate each other due to the never ending chain of bitchy-ness that the both claimed the other on started...
I have finals Wednsday, Thursday, and Friday (on which I will hear about nothing from my friends except about how horrible all of my other friends are)
My night terrors have started again, which means I won't get a nice night's sleep for another month or so, until they go away...

Song of the Update: "K.I.D.s.", "Invisible File", "Psychedelic farm"- Lain, Cyberia Mix
Thought of the Update:

2002-01-06T16:43:00.000-08:00

WAI! WAI!! GUESSWHATGUESSWHATGUESSWHAT!!! I was watching Futurerama and the were making fun off old, old, ancient console games (they had donkey kong and pacman and ms. pacman!!!) ^-^ Anyways they were showing them all, and one of the said 'All your base are belong to us'!!!!!!!!! Isn't that COOL!!!!!!!!!! :-D

Anyways.... ^-^ that's pretty much all... ooooookay ^_________^ bye!! *wave*

Song of the Update: Antidepressant 044
Thought of the Update: American people really are very stupid... On the news, they only tell us about stupid happenings in the US... we are totally unaware about the rest of the world! There are wars going on that we don't even know about!! *ARG* It's so annoying knowing there are things happening out there that we don't have any clue about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2001-12-17T15:33:00.000-08:00

O.o my cat is snoring in her sleep.... *pokes Mom Cat* Wake up!

Er..... ^-^ I bad! I haven't updated in foreeeeeever.....

Okay... well... I was in a local performance of A Christmas Carol.... but that's over... ummmm...

^-^ I did loads of stuff, but I don't remember ANY of it!! :-p I should Blog more... *is bopped by Sarah* ^-^; yeah, yeah....

Ummm.... Jenn and Ye Olde Evile One are going out... for 3 months soon *bleh* evileevileevileevileevile....
Annnnnnd... Hilly and Patrick are going out *blehbleh* Still, Mack and YOEO are worse -_- my friends have sucky taste in guys...

Song of the Update: Rose-Colored Times- Lise Lobe
Thought of the Update: ... Update Early and Often ^_^

2001-11-01T16:20:00.000-08:00

*is bopped by the Blogger fairy with a bopstick for people who never update even though they promised themselves they would, Ultimate Edition* Owww!!!!! ;_; *rubs sore spot on head*

Yeah, Yeah, I'm updating. Don't look so surprised.

okay.... where to start....

^-^ I got gigantic angels wings from the vintage/halloween clothing store in Alton! ^-^ They're BIG and WHITE! and COOOOOL!!!

^-^ So, for the halloween parade (yesterday) I wore my wings and roller blades, and went as the result of a freak accident in one of those diners where everyone is in costume and they go around on roller skates. Let me tell you- rollerblading through crowds in the dark with giant angel wings on your back is harder than it sounds!
Annnndddd..... ^-^ A bunch of my friends are performing in the school play, 'Starmites', tommorow! (I tried out but didn't make it ;_; no taste...)

Annnndddd..... What else? *shruggs* Nothing Important.
Richard says hi.
So does Bob. Bob says spoot, also.

That's all... ^-^ I update, I don't need anymore! :-P

Thought of the Update: Errrr.... Try your hardest and always keep your goal in mind... *bleh* after school special -_-;....

2001-10-08T13:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!!!! *hands Bob a turkeY* YaY!!

2001-10-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

I have a bruise on my hand.

I'm just going to keep posting...... for a while.... and stuff.....
Bob.

2001-10-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

I had a dream, that I was leaving the cast party for hamlet in my mother's car. I was driving the car, but I was in the passenger's seat... weird... Anyways, i drove, but I couldn't stop the car for some reason O.o (maybe 'cause I was in the passenger's seat?) So I was driving around in circles, trying to stop the car and get into the drivers seat, when a police car stopped me. I finally stopped the car and moved into the drivers seat and started crying 'cause I was gunna get arrested T-T... But the nice police dood let me off- he didn't even asked for my licence! (which I didn't have, of course)... ^-^... lalala...

Thought of the Update: *drat* uhhhhhhh... don't procrastinate or something like that... O.o

2001-09-22T20:25:00.000-07:00

Connect, damn you, connect!!!!! O.o er....

2001-09-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

My heart and prayers go out to the families of the victimes, and to anyone being wrongly accused of these crimes.

I have tried my best to stay nuetral and to try and help, but in doing this, too many people think i'm just being laid back. That I don't care.

*sigh* I, personally, have not lost anyone in the wrecks. One of my friends lost an uncle, though. And if we go to war, my sister's fiancee will be shipped out, and a few of my friend's boyfriends will be shipped out, and some friend might get drafted, and we might go to war with a near-and-dear internet friend *sniff* karth-o-bob *sniff*

I do care, really. But there's not much I can do. I do plan on get my parents to let me give blood, but beyond that, I can't do anything.

Be safe,
Lost--

2001-09-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

*sigh* Okay, this won't make any sense to any one here, 'cause I keep this sort of thing fairly close to my cheast. I'm jsut typing this out here 'cause I know no one will recognize anyone else here, and 'cause I need to sort this whole thing out...

Here goes.

I'm making headway- that's the important thing. But things are getting too damn complicated too damn fast.
*sigh* Okay, so, i'm ambivilant, to say the least. It's more like I'm two people (which, I am a LOT more than two people....), one who reaaaaally likes him, who think's he's smart, and nice, and one of the greatest people she knows, then there's the other person. She hates him, she thinks he's stuck up, arse-hole who's just wasting oxygen by being alive.
That was enough of a head-ache for me to deal with...
Then I find out, that a friend of mine has a crush on him, but she doesn't know I like him, nobody that knows him knows I like him. *sigh*
So, the Homecoming dance is coming up soon. Here's the deal-
If I ask him (which will never happen, i'm far too much of a wuss to do that) and he says yes- my friend will think I did that because I didn't like her, or didn't want them to do together... which, in all fairness, is sort-of true..... ALSO, pretty much nobody likes him ('cause he's such an ass! SHUT UP!!) besides me and my friend... but, I don't think i'd care... -_- my head hurts.
If I ask him and he says no- I'll not only be heartbroken, but I'll be embarrased and sad, and depresed, etc...
If he asked me, and I accepted- again, she'd think I'd betrayed her.
If he asked me, and I declined- I would be breaking my own heart. I reeeeeeaaaaaaally like him, and I don't think I could say no.
If he asked her or vice versa- i'd be heartbroken, and I probably couldn't from letting it show...

See? I feel like i'm chained to the wall... I'm paralyzed in my spot... I am a deer in the headlights... *sigh*

Does anyone else see my delema? Anyone have any suggestions? I'm open for any and all suggestions. lost_anime_gurl@yahoo.com

2001-09-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry- just trying to test the archives ^-^

2001-09-09T12:47:00.000-07:00

heh- this is gunna be a loooooooooooong post!! ^-^

Okay, so, yesterday, I went to a local pizza parlor thingy for a surprise party for my friend Grace ^-^ and... she arrived and wasn't at all surprised ^-^' And, after having lengthy discussions on ghosts and haunted places in town, we decided to call Grace's mom and have her come and give us a ride somewhere. Adam had her take us to Dairy Queen, which is just down the block from an old, haunted, shut-down college that he wanted to go to, but he didn't want to tell her that, so he said we were stopping bye to get applications for a job, so she just took us through the drive-through instead of dropping us off ^-^. So then we went to Sacred Grounds, the coffee shop hang out place dealy (^-^) and hung out there for a while.
Then we went out back to the parking lot down the street from SG, and hung out there for a while. Then we watched people skateboard.
Then we went back to SG and had long, heated debates on the government.
Then, eventually, we wandered down to the school that's a block away from SG, in another direction.

It was lightning. EVERYWHERE. Completely and totally. But there was no thunder...

Then we swung on the swings and had debates on Government and religion (O.o)...
Then Me, Adam, and Lauren went to a different part to the play-ground (leaving behind Grace, Randy and Merridith). Then we burried Adam's lower half in the rocks they have to cover up the ground of the playground. Then Lauren left.
Then we got bored and went back to SG (it was, like, 10:30 about this time. There was more lightning now, but still no thunder). Then Grace left.
Then we hung out, outside of SG. Then I found out that we actually had a curfew in this town (O.o I didn't know that!). Then Adam left. Then Randy and Merridith had obscene conversations and I refused to be a part of. Then Logon came back. Then Me and Logon refused to get into the conversation with Randy and Merridith. Then Adam showed up.
Then we hung out behind SG.
And THAT'S when the police showed up... *shakes head* No, we didn't do anything wrong, and no we didn't get in any trouble... but... THAT COP WAS A REAL JERK!
-_- I didn't say that then... But he really was! I STILL have marks on my hands from where I was digging my nails into my hand to stop myself from saying things to him... -_- jerk...
Then I decided it was time I went home, so everyone escorted me towards me father's shop.
And then it started to sprinkle.
It had been lightning for at least two hours now, with no rain, and no thunder. Logon and I are convinced the end of the world is coming- We give it a year...
Anyways, on the way to my dad's shop, it started to sprikle.
Really big raindrops. REALLY big rain drops. Irregularly large raindrops.
Really cold raindrops. REALLY REALLY cold raindrops. Abnormally cold raindrops.
*shakes head* it was SCARY.

Then I noticed that the raindrops were going in a straight line. They were. The marks on the ground from the raindrops were in a straight line. I saw this and RAN. We got to the shop and the rain was comin' like there was no tommorow, and the wind was blowing so hard, it blew one of the trees outside of the shop over (O.o)
Logon left right away, (i wonder if he made it home...) And Randy, Merridith, and Adam got a ride with Merridith's dad.
My dad made me wait for, like, 15 minutes till I convinced him we should just GO *shakes head* he's such a wimp- it's just rain!
On the way home, we found a knocked-over tree branch, two flodded intersections, and a fallen telephone wire O.o

But, I got home, it's all good. Bye.

THough of the Update: uhhhh........ piku......... Seize the moment! If you have somethign to day, you don't wear it tommorow! 'cause as we found out on the train, tommorow never happens! It's all the same fucking day, man!

2001-08-29T17:51:00.000-07:00

^-^ Lost out Loud.... heh ^-^ Thanks Freckle! -^-^- iz my new title!!!! :-D

Oh, ^-^ wish me luck! I'm saying for what ^.-

Oh, and freckle or matt: THAT'S why i hate religious debates.....

2001-08-23T18:53:00.000-07:00

Okay..... ummm....

School- evil, but it's going to be a good year, I JUST know it... Well..... 'cept in Government, last hour. My mom things I had a nerve attack. My hand was shaking so much I couldn't write, and my jaw was shaking too. I felt totally sick to my stomach... but i'm okay now! ^-^"
People- Oh! Goodgood! There are so many nice people at the high school! ^-^ New people to meet!!! I've gotten lots of compliments on my paper-clip necklace, and my brand new Rocky Horror Picture Show shirt! *cheers* RHPS KICKS ARSE!! WEEE!! Oh! And in art, I was drawing this giant picture of a chibi EL, and the guy on the table next to me complimented it ^-^ (even though it was crap compaired to everyone's art at the forum...)
Everything else- gee.... school, there's nothing else.

Oh! Hamlet rehersle- the girl playing Ophelia is really bad at playing a crazy person. But, what do you expect? She's the director's daughter...

THough of the Update: Oh, please, think before you speak- example of none thinker- In French class, Madame Symanski was trying to help us memorize where to put ther periods for the abbreviations for Madame, Madmoisella, and Monsiour, and she said-
"The girls don't have periods- only the gius have periods... OH! I did it AGAIN!"

2001-08-21T17:09:00.000-07:00

EEEEEEEE!!!!!! WHAYWHAY!

I'm playing the Gentlewoman in Hamlet!!! -^-^- KEWLKEWL!!! I can't wait..... WEEEEE!!!!!

Though of the Update: School is the root of all evil!! ALLLLL EVIL!!!!!

2001-08-09T19:04:00.000-07:00

I have found my porpuse in life-

To be laughed at by my family....

No words can describe the hatred I feel towards my family.

And then Bob said spoot...

THought of the update: be prepared.