My Life as I See Fit
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"Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy." -Cynthia Nelms

7.26.2003
Speak to me in riddle.
Speak to me in rhyme.
You speak like I'm a child.
You speak like you're sublime.


posted by Lost 10:00:00 PM
. . .
7.03.2003
My Dr. Pepper seriously tastes as though it has booze in it. I am not even kidding. Seriously, dude, my Dr. Pepper has been spiked.

*drinks Dr. Pepper anyway*

Get this; My parents have seperated, but they're going together for my Dad's class reunion. The hell?!

Parents so silly.

Suspect them of spiking my Dr. Pepper so that I won't notice such imperfetions in their lives.

Music: 'I'm Addicted to you'- Simple Plan


posted by Lost 10:13:00 AM
. . .
6.28.2003
Dont mind this, I just need to vent and nobody's online to talk to. Just ignore it, please.

My dad told me today that my parents are seperating.
First of all; DAD, what the HELL were you thinking?! You couldn't have sat me down and told me? Are you even sure yet? Or is this YET ANOTHER false alarm? JUst blurt it out like that, you fucking moron. I suppose I should be glad that you didn't tell me over Thanksgiving dinner, eh? Just one more reason I'd be like Chandler. He's my hero, I loff him.

I'm not sad, or surprised, exactly. Like this hasn't been brewing for a while. My mom's been sleeping down on the couch for a while now. Real smooth, mom. Walked downstairs to get a CD couple of weeks ago and she was there. No great excuse, either. Try, would you mom? Can't you just try?

And all the fights. Financial issues, you see. My dad's making all the money and my mom's spending it all. I pity mom here, I don't blame her. She just needs to spend, it's understandable. I don't blame her.
But during finals, when I was studying for my French examen, and he came down bitching about, as I said, financial issues. For his birthday we bought him the Boxset First Season of Stargate; SG-1, because I knew he liked it. He was compaining; apparently, mom had put it on a credit card. So he was bitching about his birth-day present.
Way to go, Dad! I'm fucking 16, do I want to listen to you and mom bitch to each other about finances? It couldn't have waited? I was trying to study my french, ASSHOLE!!!

What I'm most worried, however, is the fights. I know I'm going to be dragged into it. In fact, it's started already. My dad told me in the letter from my mom that she called him a horrible father.
How fucking ironic.
How fucking hypocritical!
She complained that he hasn't been around enough for me, as opposed to my mother who's been around all the time.
1.) Not fucking true.
2.) Even what she was around in my childhood she was always with my sister, trying to be a friend to her. Being friends with my sister means you have to taunt me and make fun of me. So I spent my entire childhood trying to run from my mother and sister's abuse.
I'm like black sheep of the family. The butt to every fucking joke at every fucking family reunion.
You know how everybody has some crazy aunt or excentric grandma or a weird cousin? I don't because I AM the damn crazy aunt and weird cousin or nephew. Everytime they get together, I hide because all the do is mock me and what I do and how I act. They actually make fun of me because I'm smart, did you know? Becaus I'm smarter than they are? Morons, all of them.
In fact, the only reason I like my brother Graham is because he only makes fun of me half the time, and because he gave me my guitar and because I love him for that. Thank you Graham, I do love you.

I know they'll drag me into their fights. My mom did it when my sister was here, and they always fought. I got a lot of reading done them, because they would always fight downstairs, in front of God, me, and everybody, and they would always find someway to use me for their arguments. Always. Fucking always. So I would always hide in my run, blast my music, read my books and generally ignore them.

I'm not surprised they're splitting up. They have before. A while ago, my mom moved out into the Shop (the older shop, er... nevermind...) and my sister and I would take turns spending a month with them or so. Was the most awkward Christmas ever.
But my mom and dad would ask if, should it arise, I would want to live with them permenatly.
Mom's been prepping me for this for a while, I think. To live with her, that is. She constantly asks 'if I took a job in, say, Californina, would you come with me?' 'If I decided to take school in Chicago, would you live with me?' I would say yes, or no, depending where we would be going, but I never asked why we would be moving without dad. I was just indulging her fantasies. Silly me.

My, my, my. But I do feel better.


posted by Lost 5:42:00 PM
. . .
6.27.2003
Why? Because I can and it's fantastic.

TheyWereAwfullyTightPants!Snape
rebel snape
You are...Rebel Snape! Found most commonly in
Marauder-era fics, you also crop up
occasionally in canon-era stories, usually when
you're shocking the hell out of Harry with your
utter coolness. With your leather clothing,
tight body, laid-back personality, and skill on
the Quidditch pitch, it's no wonder that
everyone from Lucius Malfoy to Voldemort
himself wants to shag you. However, when you
flip your ponytail and take off on your antique
motorcycle, readers might wonder just what
happened to Sirius Black...


What Wildly Out-of-Character Fanfic Snape Are You?
brought to you by




6.26.2003
A handshake. A bloody handshake! BAH!

posted by Lost 10:49:00 PM
. . .
Speak softly, so that I must strain to hear you.
Whisper so I must feel your breath.
Draw me closer with your words.
We can be close and silent


posted by Lost 10:25:00 PM
. . .
Why? Because I can.

J Warcleaver: what's your favorite food, article of clothing (your own) and article of clothing (not your own)?

J Warcleaver: and did I really bore you last night?

lost onna no ko: 1.) Apples or the old Cashew Chicken they use to make at the Orient, but which now sucks because they're filling in their sauce with corn startch which really takes away from the flavor

J Warcleaver: k

lost onna no ko: 2.) I think, possible the shirt I'm wearing right now, 'cause it's not too tight but not too loose, buttons up, was really cheap, and matches everything. Or my arm band, but that's really jewelry, not clothing.

J Warcleaver: yeah

lost onna no ko: 3.) I saw a shirt that was just a nice green shirt, but had detached sleeves held on with garter belt things. Was so cool. I like corsets too, but I don't own any. Or that floor-length, silky see-through black duster I once saw. Or almost anything my friend Becky wears, 'cause she has the coolest clothing ever.

J Warcleaver: lol

J Warcleaver: I bet you'd look good in a dress.

lost onna no ko: 4.) Yes.

lost onna no ko: *shrugs* Depends on the dress.

J Warcleaver: ouch

lost onna no ko: You asked.

J Warcleaver: and you were honest.

lost onna no ko: Yup! Brutally so :-D

J Warcleaver: which is a good thing, most of the time.

lost onna no ko: Rarely, actually. *shrugs*

lost onna no ko: Was that all, then?

J Warcleaver: hmm...

J Warcleaver: What is your ideal mate, what characteristics do you want in a friend, and what is your favorite type of scene to write in a book.

lost onna no ko: (what do you mean by type of scene?)

J Warcleaver: (battle, romantic, sexual, etc.)

J Warcleaver: (scene theme)

lost onna no ko: 1.) He has nice hair, he's funny, free, smart, witty, loves me, trusts me, would never, ever even think of cheating on me because he knows that if he did I would castrate him with a firecracker, is open-minded, likes to try new things at least once, and is willing to try them twice just to make sure the first time wasn't a botch-up, loves to read and write, likes to dance, will humour me, likes to surprise me, will kiss me when I least expect it, will not be vain or over-arrogant, will not die just when I finally declare I love him, will not try to change himself or me for me or himself, will let me do my thing, will always be trying to improve upon himself, doesn't like stereotypical things, will gently scold me about smoking because he knows I love that, will not hurt me unless I ask....

J Warcleaver: hmm...

lost onna no ko: 2.) I want someone who will let me be and will argue with me constantly. Must be smart, as I'm horribly condescending to people whom I think is less intelligent than I. Should be fun, why else would I want to hang out with them? Must know when I want to be left alone. Must learn to trust me.

lost onna no ko: 3.) Romantic/Borderline Sexual and horror scenes.

J Warcleaver: hmm... x2

lost onna no ko: That all?

J Warcleaver: I have to absorb all that, hold on for just a moment.

J Warcleaver: a lot of information there.

lost onna no ko: *shrugs*


posted by Lost 1:59:00 PM
. . .
6.25.2003
People so silly.

New Top Ten List of Favorite HP Characters:
1.) Snape. This doesn't change.

2.) Fred and George. I smell a twinest fic. :D

3.) Sirius.
Wah.
Sirius.

4.) Dumbledore. Loff Rebellious!Dumbledore.

5.) Draco. I loff him, but he drops down for being more pratty and less sexy in this book.

6.) Remus Lupin. Because Young!Remus joking about his own lycanthopy? Very sexy.

7.) McGonagall. She kicks ass. The scenes with her and Umbridge? My favorites. She's so smooth and kick ass. Go McGonagall!

8.) Phineas (the headmaster portrait). Dunno why, exactly, he's just my type of headmaster. And a Slytherin. Love them Slytherins.

9.) Harry. Harry should be number one, as book is called Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, not Severus Snape and the Order of the Phoenix, though suspect the latter would sell better.

10.) Tie between Neville and Ron. Don't like Quidditch!Ron, but I do still loff him. Neville in the closed ward was tear-worthy. Poor Neville. *glomps Neville plushie*


That was really hard ^_^;;;

New Top Five List of LEAST Favorite HP Characters:
1.) Umbridge and Bellatrix Lestrange. Both shall die by my hands. (I do love Bella's name, though).

2.) Percy. Little Punk Ass.

3.) Cho. Little Ho. Always crying, acting all 'stereotypical teenage female'. Bah.

4.) Marietta. Got Dumbledore in trouble *Glare* She shall pay.

5.) Lucius Malfoy. *shrugs* I've never liked him. I'm not sure why. He's blonde and rich and Slytherin, which I love. AND he's the father of Draco, who I LOFFLOFFLOFF, but for some reason *shrugs* I don't like the man.


That last one was easier. :D

Music: "Crystal" by Stevie Nicks


posted by Lost 6:14:00 PM
. . .
New Blog layout such a bitch. Can't find anything. This is why I never clean my room.

Must figure out how to archive. Yes.

Waah, had much fun at Workshop thingy. Very Memorable. Was the life of every party. Meet so many cool people. Hit on many of them. Good times, good times.

Read HP5.

Sirius.
Wah.
Sirius.

More later.


posted by Lost 5:09:00 PM
. . .
5.31.2003
*w00t!* Party Today! Bonfire! Hope the wind dies down so we can actually BUILD a fire O_o;
Am going to try to "organize" (ha) a game of capture the flag.XD I call Adam, Patrick, and Dustin for my team.

I'll post more about the party after the party. XD It'll be wild!

Music: "Bring me to Life" Evanescence


posted by Lost 10:36:00 AM
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